Author Archives: Ruth Perry

On being a bad feminist who tolerates all kinds of nonsense, but also having no patience for bad depictions of God’s love

Posted on May 20, 2020 | 4 comments

bad feminist

Before I confess to being a bad feminist, I do watch feminist-approved shows as well. I’m a big Handmaid’s Tale fan, I watched Unorthodox early on in quarantine, and I’ve been watching Mrs. America on Wednesdays since that began.

But I can’t help how effective a ridiculous Hallmark movie can be at helping me unwind after a busy shift at work. I watch Hallmark Christmas movies year round.

And why wouldn’t I watch a show that repeatedly, time after time, manages to produce “the most dramatic season ever”? My husband will not watch The Bachelor with me. He is a better person than I am. In my experience, The Bachelor is people-watching at it’s most fascinating, a train-wreck that I just can’t look away from.

Has my feminist card been revoked yet?

It would seem, with my terrible taste in entertainment, that I would enjoy the Christian equivalent in written romance. Right? I thought so. But I thought wrong.

Last week, I woke up one day with my introvert battery completely toasted. So I picked up a novel, Francine River’s immensely popular Redeeming Love that had been handed down to me a few years ago; I neglected my housework and children (honestly, they’re old enough to feed and bathe themselves so I’m almost obsolete) and spent the entire day reading.

Aside from successfully recharging my introvert battery, I didn’t finish this book feeling good. It gnawed at me for the next several days. I kept mulling over and over how terrible the book actually was. As much as I can overlook in secular garbage TV, I could not forgive Francine Rivers for Redeeming Love.

I finally figured it out. Redeeming Love is supposed to be a metaphor for God’s love for us, by telling a “love” story about Christian patriarchy, presenting abusive coercion and control as godly male headship.

God’s love is so much better than the love described in Redeeming Love.  

I won’t summarize the plot, as I found that Samantha Fields did an excellent review series already, analyzing River’s disappointing writing chapter by chapter. I encourage you to read her reviews, especially if you have already read Redeeming Love. 

I will simply say, the main characters, Michael and Angel’s relationship dynamic resembles Power & Control rather than Equality, and it makes me so upset that Christians confuse abusive behavior with “spiritual headship”:


I was reminded this past week of another book, A God I’d Like to Meet: Separating the Love of God from Harmful Traditional Beliefs, by Bob Edwards. In his first chapter, Edwards introduces himself and why he’s writing this book:

I’ve been a Social Worker and Psychotherapist for nearly twenty years now. During this time, I’ve provided individual, family and group counseling for thousands of people. Many of them have told me that they have difficulty believing in God. Most of them have experienced horrific forms of abuse: physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Many of them were told, at one time or another–often by well-meaning Christians, that the terrible things done to them or to their loved ones were either allowed or caused by the “Sovereign Will of God.”

I understand the human tendency to want to come to grips with or understand life’s tragedies. This particular explanation for horror and suffering, however, evokes a crisis of faith for many. If God is good, why would he cause or allow such terrible things to happen to good people? One common answer to this question only serves to compound the problem. Some are told that God isn’t really allowing “bad” things to happen to “good” people, because deep down we are all truly “bad,” by nature.

Another common answer to the question of evil is also problematic. We’re told that God predetermines that people will do bad things to one another so that his good purposes can be accomplished on earth. At best, this second explanation is a classic case of thinking that the end justifies the means. As mentioned earlier, some of those “means” can be truly horrific (e.g. rape, child-abuse, ethnic cleansing). (pgs. 6-8)

This is exactly how Angel’s horrifying childhood abuse and trauma is treated in Redeeming Love, and Rivers over and over again describes Angel’s trauma-informed behavior as weakness, selfishness, and pride.

Bob Edwards’ book explains how Christian theologians, specifically Calvinists, have been influenced by ancient Greet philosophy, which has warped the way they view God. You probably could not find a Christian who would disagree with the statement that “God is love” (1 John 4:8), but how many Christians live as though they are a bug under the thumb of God?

Dualism, a hierarchy of spirit over body, denial of the free will of humanity and the doctrine of self-mortification; these are some of the philosophical principals that eventually led to formulation of the Gnostic heresy. Shockingly, they are also some of the alleged “principle matters of Christian philosophy” through which John Calvin encouraged all believers to make sense of the Bible. He derived them from Augustine, and Augustine derived them from the “books of the Platonists.” Rather than being a benchmark for Christian orthodoxy, St. Augustine’s theology appears more like a “union of Christian and pagan doctrines.”  (Edwards, pgs. 108-109)

Seen through the lenses of Platonic philosophy, the God of the Bible can appear to be an all-controlling entity that frowns on emotion and insists that men must exercise control over women. The implications of this theological perspective are significant. Evil, including human sin, is portrayed as “the will of God.” Salvation is irresistibly extended to a select few, while the majority of the human race is abandoned to inevitable damnation. Human emotion is confused with sin and must be “put to death.” Women, viewed as stimulating sinful feelings, must be strictly controlled by men. (pgs. 96-97).

This controlling, abusive, and sexist portrait of God reviles rather than attracts people to him. I would encourage you, if you’ve been taught a Calvinist theology, to examine your understanding of God.

All my life, I have known that God is love, and I have loved God deeply. Unlike Angel, I experienced very little trauma or abuse as a child. But I absorbed this Calvinistic portrait of God anyway, through doctrine. When I was thirty, I was going through a very painful time with a church split, parents divorcing, and husband unemployed, and in my brokenness, I was grasping to understand the problem of evil and the suffering of this world. I happened upon Brennan Manning’s sermons on YouTube, and wept as I learned of God’s UNCONDITIONAL, no-strings attached love for me.

I learned that I am Beloved, just as I am, and not as I should be, because nobody is as they should be. It sparked a faith shift that gave me the courage to unpack everything I had grown up believing about God and the Bible, and then to start reconstructing a faith that is informed by Jesus’ love, sacrifice, and grace.

Brennan Manning

As Manning says, “You will trust God to the degree that you know you are loved by him.” Knowing I was loved unconditionally gave me the freedom to ask God the “big questions,” to walk away from traditions that were harmful, and to embrace Egalitarian theology that placed women in their rightful place alongside their brothers in the Kingdom.

It is my constant prayer that Calvinists will come to know the unconditional, incomparable love of God, who sees each one of us in our brokenness and mess and calls us “Beloved.”

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Recovering from Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by Aimee Byrd

Posted on May 11, 2020 | 4 comments

aimee byrd

I was delighted to receive a copy of Aimee Byrd’s new book, Recovering from Biblical Manhood & Womanhood and devoured it this past week, underlining a full half of it! Byrd writes beautifully, with strong metaphors and challenging questions that keep the reader engaged. And her arguments are very strong and compelling. In her introduction, she emphasizes that this is neither a man-bashing book nor a women’s empowerment book. Her focus is critiquing the teachings of so-called “biblical manhood and womanhood” that are really cultural values rather than helpful guides to discipleship.

Aimee Byrd is coming from the perspective of the Reformed Orthodox Presbyterian Church, which is complementarian. While remaining faithfully within the confines of the creeds and doctrines of her denomination, she offers a complementarian framework that honors the contribution of women in Scripture and in ecclesial life today. Reading her book as an egalitarian, I was inspired by the Biblical examples of “gynocentric interruptions” (the female voice throughout the Bible’s narrative), and I loved her description of sibling relationships as the dynamic we are to have between men and women in the Church.

Byrd is directly challenging theaimee byrd recovering biblical harmful subjugation of women through the work of the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood (CBMW) founded by Wayne Grudem and John Piper and other prominent complementarian pastors, and their definitive tome, Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood. The CBMW view of manhood and womanhood is filtered strictly through a lens of authority and submission. She is especially critical of the heretical doctrine of the Eternal Subordination of the Son (ESS) they have peddled to enforce the subjugation of women.

As we’ve been taught to focus on aiming for biblical manhood and womanhood, we have missed the bigger picture of Christlikeness to which we are called. And we have lost aim of what the church is for: preparing us for eternal communion with the triune God. (pg. 26)

I underlined half of this book, but I will try to pull out some favorite quotes for you. Here are some from the chapter, “Why Not the Book of Boaz?” in which Byrd fleshes out the importance of “gynocentric interruptions”:

It teaches us different layers of different. We see how the female voice is needed in Scripture. This isn’t a criticism of the male voice. God put man and woman on this earth, and he intends to use both sexes in his mission. In Ruth men and women see that sometimes we need a different set of eyes to see the fuller picture. And what a beautiful picture it is. (pg. 54)

The church is using the same language as the secular world–whether we’re talking about equality and rights or borrowing the same Victorian-age gender tropes and then calling it ‘biblical.’ Their questions often revolve around what the women in the church are permitted to do. While there is certainly a place to talk about these things, there seems to be little talk about how the woman’s contribution is distinctly valued and how they can promote that in their leadership by listening to and investing in their women. The woman’s casserole is valued. The woman’s nursery duty is valued. The woman’s service in VBS is valued. Is her theoogical contribution valued? Is her testimony valued? Is her advice valued? When she shows initiative, discernment, and resolve, do you see someone who wants to give of herself in service in all these ways, or does that maker her less feminine in your eyes?

Gynocentric interruptions shouldn’t just be permitted; they should be promoted. The women’s voices–not only their casseroles and babysitting skills–are needed just as much as the men’s in the life of the church…This means they need to be fed from the depths of the Word and be satisfied. (pg. 70)

In the chapter, “Girls Interrupted,” Byrd shows how women were “tradents” of the faith, as we all should be as we testify to God’s redemption and Kingdom to others.

These women’s bravery, initiative, discernment, and resolve are models of faith for us all. Rahab’s faith led to the birth of our Savior, and both women’s actions foreshadow Jesus’ blessing on all nations. If we are to follow some of the hyper-masculinity and femininity teaching taught in some conservative circles, these women would look more rebellious than full of faith. (pg. 88)

In her chapter, “Why Our Aim Is Not Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” Byrd says,

In Scripture we see women functioning as necessary allies in ways such as warning men to turn away from evil; acting as cobelligerents with men against evil enemis; mediating the Word of the Lord; giving wise instruction and counsel, collaborating in service to others; responding to God as examples of faithfulness; and influencing men from a gift of empathy and relatedness. (pg. 108 with Bible references in the footnotes)

The word complementarian has been hijacked by an outspoken and overpublished group of evangelicals who flatten its meaning and rob it of true beauty and complementarity. Complementarity presupposes difference but also communion through giving of the self in and through these differences. (pg. 124)

In her chapter, “What Church is For,” Byrd asks,

Why isn’t there more proactive training for pastors about how to minister to and better equip the women in their churches? How much interaction are they having with women academics or even popular female writers? Why are so many pastors so terribly unaware of the market of poor theology being sold to women in the form of ‘Bible studies’ and topical studies for women’s ministry?…pastors need to be asking themselves how they are preparing both the men and women for eternity through the proclamation of the word and the fruit of that ministry in their church. (pg. 145)

I won’t give any more away. I want you to get a hold of this book and read it for yourself. This is a powerful call to live as faithful witnesses to God’s Kingdom as we all strive for Christlikeness and sacrificial love. I am especially encouraged to read such a defense of the contributions of women in the Church from a complementarian woman. I highly recommend Byrd’s work to egalitarians and complementarians alike.

I’ll leave you with this video of Aimee describing her book and corresponding study:

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Alan Hirsch – Missional Discipleship

Posted on October 12, 2018 | 1 comment

alanhirschI had a wild experience this week, meeting a leader in the missional church movement that has been influential in my understanding of living on mission for God’s Kingdom. I had stayed up half the night before church last week, watching Alan Hirsch videos on Youtube, trying to find something I could show during our Sunday School hour to start a discussion on missional discipleship – which requires deconstructing our Christ-against-culture/evangelism/consumerism mindsets and reconstructing a mindset of discipleship through relationship, meeting and loving people where they are, drawing them to Christ through showing up, time and again.

Anyway, I had just had this Alan-Hirsch-binge and a few days later, was face-to-face with him at my job, where he was attending a dinner! “Are you Alan Hirsch?!” I exclaimed, and when he smilingly told me he was, we shook hands and I thanked him for his work. Then I recovered my professionalism and carried on. But it got me thinking that I ought to share his work here with my blog readers. So here is the video I chose for my Sunday School class, and the notes I passed out. You can learn more about Alan Hirsch here.

“Missional Discipleship” 

Discipleship is fundamental to our faith – it is formation in Christ. Missional discipleship incorporates the assimilation of spiritual disciplines (prayer, etc.) but goes beyond to involve ourselves in the eternal purposes of God in this world to redeem it to himself.

Highly transformative missional movements throughout history, with explosive growth and high transformation (the early Church, the Celtic movement, Moravians, Methodists, Pentecostals) have been obsessed with discipleship and disciple-making.

The key to the health, sustainment, extension and renewal of the church is not more evangelism, but more discipleship.

Greek philosopher Epictetus – “It’s impossible to teach a man what he thinks he already knows.”

There’s some unlearning we need to do. We’ve used the Great Commission to mean “we do evangelism.”

Matthew 28:16-20 “All power and authority has been given to me…Go…make disciples of the nations, teaching them to obey all that I’ve commanded you, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” Where do you hear evangelism here? Evangelism is implied, but it is actually about discipleship.

The way we’ve been doing evangelism feeds consumerism. People are looking for purpose, meaning, significance, belonging, community – the very thing religion offers is being sought in consumption.

You can’t make disciples out of consumers. Jesus said “die,” come to the cross. You can’t take that out of the equation and expect the same results. We must begin with the end in mind – what God intends to achieve in the world. But we must also end with the beginning in mind. It’s all about discipleship, from beginning to end.

When were the disciples born again? Right up front? In the middle? Towards the end? The Johannine Pentecost (John 20:19-23)? Jesus has a whole lot of pre-conversion disciples. That’s what we should do! Don’t focus on the evangelism part, focus on discipleship. Somewhere along the line will come the born again experience – that comes from God. That’s Jesus’ business.

First draw out the image of God (Image Dei) and then the image of Christ (Imago Christi). Once you’re born again, you’re reformed into the image of Jesus.

Definition: The answer is Jesus.

I believe in substitutionary atonement achieved by Christ on the cross. But it’s not simply that. “It’s Jesus in my heart…but there’s no agenda in my life beyond that.”

Incarnation————————————————————————————————Cross
The exemplary life of Jesus, his life and teachings, the role he played –
This is the agenda of discipleship!

Ignoring the life of Jesus is a reduction of the Gospel that damages our capacity to be disciples. The cross is where Jesus is my Savior. The rest is where he is my Lord. It is a heresy to divide the person and work of Jesus.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer – “Discipleship means adherence to Christ, and, because Christ is the object of that adherence, it must take the form of discipleship. An abstract Christology, a doctrinal system, a general religious knowledge on the subject of grace or on the forgiveness of sins, render discipleship superfluous, and in fact they positively exclude any idea of discipleship whatever, and are essentially inimical to the whole conception of following Christ. Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship. And Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ.”

C.S. Lewis “It is easy to think that the Church has a lot of different objects—education, building, missions, holding services …the Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose. It says in the Bible that the whole universe was made for Christ, and that everything is to be gathered in him. That is what it is all about.”

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