Category Archives: Ruth’s Posts

My Virtual Spiritual Guide: Brennan Manning

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the death of author and priest Brennan Manning.  I didn’t realize it until recently, but I had read one of his books, about 11 or 12 years ago.  When I was in college, my next door neighbor in the dorm gave me a copy of a book that had been utterly life-changing for her.  Through this book, Abba’s Child, my friend had a deeply impacting experience of God’s love.  I read it and thought it was pretty good, and put it up on my shelf with all my other books.  I can’t tell you why this book didn’t stir my soul at that time.  I think I had always felt loved by God and never doubted it.  But my spiritual journey has taken some dramatic twists and turns in the decade or so since, and today’s me is flabbergasted by God’s unconditional, never-stopping, always and forever love.

Brennan Manning Quote

In typical fashion, I sucked at fasting this Lent.  I am so ashamed at my inability to be hungry for even a few hours.  Clearly, gluttony is my besetting sin.  While I did not participate in the suffering of Christ, my lack of discipline made me keenly aware of my depravity and weakness, and also of the luxury of my life.  “Fasting” for me meant skipping lunch, while much of the world clings to life on a fraction of my daily portion.  I am comfortable and warm and clothed and fed.  I am blessed beyond measure and I need to work harder at living simply so that others may simply live.  Even not fasting has made me more keenly aware of the poor and downcast and I have been struggling to reconcile my life-style with how I have been called to become a servant of all.

I’m not sure how it happened, but Brennan Manning showed up to be my Virtual Spiritual Guide for Lent.  When I’m doing my data entry job for the office, I often catch up on my favorite TV shows to pass the time.  I gave this habit up for Lent and was looking for sermons to watch on YouTube.  Somehow, I noticed a link to Brennan Manning’s classic sermon, “Abba Father,” and I remembered my friend’s book.

Watching that first sermon brought me to tears.  Watching “Our Call to Participate in the Healing Ministry of Christ” brought me to gut-wrenching, body-wracking sobs.

There is something about Manning’s grumpy-old man, gravely voice shouting at you about how much God loves you.  If you learn about Brennan’s loveless childhood and debilitating alcoholism in adulthood, these words become all the more powerful:

So this Lent, I’ve been watching all of his YouTube sermons again and again, soaking up his message about God’s incomparable love.  I’ve been working extra hours lately for the office, which translates to less time writing for the blog but more time with earphones on, listening away to my spiritual coach for this season.  I have been deeply impacted by Brennan Manning in the past month and had to share him with you, especially with those of you who are not familiar with him.  I hope you take the time to listen to one of his sermons and let the message of God’s astounding love soak into your own soul.

brennan-mannings-quotes-3

P.S.  Brennan Manning is best known for his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, after which Rich Mullins named his band (another remarkable man!).  I would love to read Manning’s autobiography, All is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir.

 

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Jeffrey Watt’s Manipulation Series

Becky and I typically VLOG on Mondays, but weren’t able to coordinate our schedules this week.  So I found this series that I thought was really interesting and helpful.  Part of living free in Christ requires having good woman_puppetboundaries with unsafe peopleThe Manipulation Series by Jeffrey Watts describes the tactics used by abusers to control their victims.  If you are facing a form of psychological or physical abuse in your life, this series will be helpful to check out.  And if you are in an abusive relationship, we encourage you to take steps to protect yourself and get help.

The Manipulation Series – Introduction
The Manipulation Series – Gaslighting 
The Manipulation Series – Sarcasm
The Manipulation Series – Minimalization
The Manipulation Series – Scapegoating
The Manipulation Series – Judgment vs. Intuition
The Manipulation Series – Projection
The Manipulation Series – Terrorizing
The Manipulation Series – Teasing

*While I found these videos to be excellent, I cannot find any biographical info on Jeffrey Watts, beyond that he is a psychologist.  I came across the series on the website, A Cry for Justice.  “Jeff Crippen, author and pastor for over 30 years, and Barbara Roberts, author and survivor of domestic abuse, created this website to:

  • educate people to the abuser’s mentality and tactics
  • teach what scripture really says about abuse, marriage, and divorce
  • recommend resources for further help
  • provide a safe environment for victims of domestic abuse to be encouraged, validated, and believed.”

Be sure to visit A Cry for Justice if you have been a victim of psychological, physical or spiritual abuse.

Along the same lines, I read this post on Elizabeth Esther’s blog awhile ago entitled, “A Handy Guide for Dealing with Manipulative People.”  Esther’s book was just released March 18th and looks really good: “Girl at the End of the World: My Escape from Fundamentalism in Search for Faith with a Future.”  Her tips for dealing with manipulative people:

  1. Manipulative people make their requests sound like a great, special offer just for you when the reality is, you are the one doing THEM a favor. Whenever a manipulative person asks me to do something for them, I remind myself that I am under no obligation to say yes. And furthermore, I should not feel the need to apologize for saying no. Additionally, I do not owe them any explanation for saying no.
  2. Arguing with a manipulator is like arguing with a drug addict. You’re not arguing with the person, you’re arguing with the drug. Everything a manipulator says serves their own personal agenda. Instead of making it a personal discussion, deal with them as if you are simply dealing with their vice. You are talking to their drug/vice addiction. You wouldn’t apologize to an addict for not giving into their requests, right? If their request violates your personal boundary, the answer is always no.
  3. Manipulative people are accustomed to getting their way. Not only do manipulators want you to say yes to their requests, they want you to say yes NOW. Manipulators usually get angry or vindictive when they don’t get their way. To avoid the drama and maintain your boundaries, defer your answer to a later time. Say something like: “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” When you do say no, say it in the least personal way possible; ie. via voice-message, email or text.

Be well, friends!  We’ll be back with a VLOG next week!

Quoting the Founding Fathers of Complementarian Theology

There is an AWESOME list of quotes from theologians spanning the ages who have spawned and perpetuated the teachings of complementarianism, on Amazon.com of all places (responding to a negative review of Sarah Bessey’s book, “Jesus Feminist”).  The author of this awesomeness is Bob Edwards, whose articles are frequently featured on The Junia Project.  Here is the link to the actual Amazon page, and here is Bob’s awesome reply to the “Jesus Feminist” hater:

50 of 50 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars In response to a one star review, posted by a reader named “Steve.”, Feb. 7 2014
This review is from: Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women (Paperback)
This is actually a review of a review. It is a response to a critique of Sarah Bessey’s book by a reader named “Steve.”Steve’s Criticism:
“First, Sarah Bessey loves to go after the straw man [i.e. a position that someone doesn’t actually hold]. Even the subtitle betrays this tendency: Exploring God’s Radical Notion That Women Are People, Too. Did Sarah seriously believe her complimentarian [sic] (Biblically minded non-egalitarian) friends would think it a radical notion that women are people too? Who has ever suggested they are not?”My Response:
Who indeed Steve? Here are some quotes from the architects of complementarian theology, and from those who continue to perpetuate it today:

“[For women] the very consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame.”–Saint Clement of Alexandria, Christian theologian (c150-215) Pedagogues II, 33, 2

“In pain shall you bring forth children, woman, and you shall turn to your husband and he shall rule over you. And do you not know that you are Eve? God’s sentence hangs still over all your sex and His punishment weighs down upon you. You are the devil’s gateway; you are she who first violated the forbidden tree and broke the law of God. It was you who coaxed your way around him whom the devil had not the force to attack. With what ease you shattered that image of God: Man! Because of the death you merited, even the Son of God had to die… Woman, you are the gate to hell.” –Tertullian, “the father of Latin Christianity” (c160-225)

“Woman is a temple built over a sewer.” –Tertullian, “the father of Latin Christianity” (c160-225)

“Woman was merely man’s helpmate, a function which pertains to her alone. She is not the image of God but as far as man is concerned, he is by himself the image of God.” – Saint Augustine, Bishop of Hippo Regius (354-430)

“Woman does not possess the image of God in herself but only when taken together with the male who is her head, so that the whole substance is one image. But when she is assigned the role as helpmate, a function that pertains to her alone, then she is not the image of God. But as far as the man is concerned, he is by himself alone the image of God just as fully and completely as when he and the woman are joined together into one.” –Saint Augustine, Bishop of Hippo Regius (354-430)

“Woman is a misbegotten man and has a faulty and defective nature in comparison to his. Therefore she is unsure in herself. What she cannot get, she seeks to obtain through lying and diabolical deceptions. And so, to put it briefly, one must be on one’s guard with every woman, as if she were a poisonous snake and the horned devil. … Thus in evil and perverse doings woman is cleverer, that is, slyer, than man. Her feelings drive woman toward every evil, just as reason impels man toward all good.” –Saint Albertus Magnus, Dominican theologian, 13th century

“As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the active force in the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of woman comes from a defect in the active force or from some material indisposition, or even from some external influence.”–Thomas Aquinas, Doctor of the Church, 13th century

“The word and works of God is quite clear, that women were made either to be wives or prostitutes.” – Martin Luther, Reformer (1483-1546)

“No gown worse becomes a woman than the desire to be wise.” – Martin Luther, Reformer (1483-1546)

“Men have broad and large chests, and small narrow hips, and more understanding than women, who have but small and narrow breasts, and broad hips, to the end they should remain at home, sit still, keep house, and bear and bring up children.” – Martin Luther, Reformer (1483-1546)

“Thus the woman, who had perversely exceeded her proper bounds, is forced back to her own position. She had, indeed, previously been subject to her husband, but that was a liberal and gentle subjection; now, however, she is cast into servitude.” –John Calvin, Reformer (1509-1564)

“Even as the church must fear Christ Jesus, so must the wives also fear their husbands. And this inward fear must be shewed by an outward meekness and lowliness in her speeches and carriage to her husband. . . . For if there be not fear and reverence in the inferior, there can be no sound nor constant honor yielded to the superior.” – John Dod, A Plaine and Familiar Exposition ofthe Ten Commandements, Puritan guidebook first published in 1603

“The second duty of the wife is constant obedience and subjection.” – John Dod, A Plaine and Familiar Exposition ofthe Ten Commandements, Puritan guidebook first published in 1603

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson, Southern Baptist leader (1930–)

“Women will be saved by going back to that role that God has chosen for them. Ladies, if the hair on the back of your neck stands up it is because you are fighting your role in the scripture. –Mark Driscoll, founder of Mars Hill nondenominational mega-church franchise. (1970–)
(above quotes retrieved from […])

“It is the natural order among people that women serve their husbands and children their parents, because the justice of this lies in (the principle that) the lesser serves the greater…. This is the natural justice that the weaker brain serve the stronger. This therefore is the evident justice in the relationships between slaves and their masters, that they who excel in reason, excel in power.” (St. Augustine, Questions on the Heptateuch, Book I, § 153, as cited at […])

“Let the woman be satisfied with her state of subjection, and not take it amiss that she is made inferior to the more distinguished sex.” (John Calvin, as cited in Oliphant, J. (2011). AQA Religious Ethics for AS and A2. New York, NY: Routledge)

“It means that a woman will demonstrate that she is in fact a Christian, that she has submitted to God’s ways by affirming and embracing her God-designed identity as—for the most part, generally this is true—as wife and mother, rather than chafing against it, rather than bucking against it, rather than wanting to be a man, wanting to be in a man’s position, wanting to teach and exercise authority over men.” (Bruce Ware, as cited in Taylor, S. (2013). Dethroning Male Headship, p. 109. Auburndale, FL: One Way Press)

Mark Driscoll explains that women are restricted from positions of teaching and authority at his church: “Paul forbids women to teach and exercise authority as elders-pastors…. So at Mars Hill Church, only elders preach, enforce formal church discipline, and set doctrinal standards for the church.” (as cited from […])

“To be a woman is to support, to nurture, and to strengthen men in order that they would flourish and fulfill their God-given role as leaders.” (Owen Strachan of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, as cited from […])

The New Bible Commentary, 21st Century Edition, interprets Ephesians 5 as stating that husbands are to be regarded as the “masters” of their wives, and that wives are commanded by God to “obey” them (Wenham & Carson, 1994).

To summarize, women have been depicted as less than fully human, more evil than men, inferior, less intelligent and born for a life of subjection to male authority. Their place, according to these authors, is in the home to bear and raise children for husbands that they must “obey” as their “masters.”

Does Sarah Bessey really “love to go after the straw man” as Steve suggests? I don’t think so.

Sadly, those with a prejudice—in this case against women–are often the last to see it. That is why they may think that others are arguing against a “straw man.” The straw man isn’t made of straw in this case at all. Some complementarians simply appear unable to recognize the deeply ingrained sexism of their worldview. Just because they can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there:

Sexism
[sek-siz-uh m] noun
1. attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of sexual roles.

2. discrimination or devaluation based on a person’s sex, as in restricted job opportunities; especially, such discrimination directed against women.
([…])

“Jesus Feminist” is a refreshing contrast to the sexism that is so prevalent in church history and that lingers on in a patriarchal (i.e. complementarian) worldview today. Sarah Bessey’s work is poetic and inspirational. She communicates a passionate view of the impartial love of Jesus with grace and eloquence.