Tag Archives: abuse

“It’s a Girl” 2012 Documentary


This powerful documentary looks at the rampant existence of gendercide in India and China, two examples of patriarchal cultures that have devalued women for centuries to the point where all forms of abuse of girls and women is normal and goes on without repurcussions.  In fact, the only families that face negative repercussions within these societies are those that value their daughters.

Here are some summaries from the last ten minutes of the film:

Reggie Littlejohn, President of Women’s Rights Without Frontiers: “Son preference comes from cultures that devalue women.  They feel that women are just not as good as men.  And women that have been beat down by these cultures, and they’ve been beat down for thousands of years, can’t always stand up for themselves.  And that’s why women who come from cultures that value women, where women are equal, we need to stand up for our sisters.  Because they cannot stand up for themselves.”

First Lady Hillary Clinton speech to the UN 4th World Conference on Women in Beijing in 1995: “It is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food or drowned or suffocated or their spines broken simply because they are girls.  It is a violation of human rights when women are doused with gasoline, set on fire and burned to death because they dowries are deemed too small.  It is a violation of human rights when women are denied the right to plan their own families and that includes being forced to have abortions or being sterilized against their will.  If there is one message that echoes forth from this conference, let it be that human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights once and for all.”

Since this address, very little has been done socially or politically to stop gendercide around the world.  Women and girls throughout the world continue to suffer from all forms of gendercide: female feticide, infanticide, abandonment, abuse, neglect, dowry violence, trafficking, forced sterilization and forced abortion.  More females are missing on earth today from gendercide than the combined number of deaths from all the genocides of the 20th century.

Rita Banerji, Author and Activist, 50 Million Missing Campaign: “The most fundamental right is to life and existence, and it’s unconditional…The fact that we have to justify why women shouldn’t be killed is a dehumanizing argument in and of itself.  So I think that somehow there has been a shift in the human rights agendas away from women’s rights.  They’re being treated as though they’re pandas or something….There has to be an assumption of responsibility, that we’ve allowed something to go horribly wrong and we’re each responsible to change it.”

Learn how to get involved in ending gendercide at www.itsagirlmovie.com.

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Jeffrey Watt’s Manipulation Series

Becky and I typically VLOG on Mondays, but weren’t able to coordinate our schedules this week.  So I found this series that I thought was really interesting and helpful.  Part of living free in Christ requires having good woman_puppetboundaries with unsafe peopleThe Manipulation Series by Jeffrey Watts describes the tactics used by abusers to control their victims.  If you are facing a form of psychological or physical abuse in your life, this series will be helpful to check out.  And if you are in an abusive relationship, we encourage you to take steps to protect yourself and get help.

The Manipulation Series – Introduction
The Manipulation Series – Gaslighting 
The Manipulation Series – Sarcasm
The Manipulation Series – Minimalization
The Manipulation Series – Scapegoating
The Manipulation Series – Judgment vs. Intuition
The Manipulation Series – Projection
The Manipulation Series – Terrorizing
The Manipulation Series – Teasing

*While I found these videos to be excellent, I cannot find any biographical info on Jeffrey Watts, beyond that he is a psychologist.  I came across the series on the website, A Cry for Justice.  “Jeff Crippen, author and pastor for over 30 years, and Barbara Roberts, author and survivor of domestic abuse, created this website to:

  • educate people to the abuser’s mentality and tactics
  • teach what scripture really says about abuse, marriage, and divorce
  • recommend resources for further help
  • provide a safe environment for victims of domestic abuse to be encouraged, validated, and believed.”

Be sure to visit A Cry for Justice if you have been a victim of psychological, physical or spiritual abuse.

Along the same lines, I read this post on Elizabeth Esther’s blog awhile ago entitled, “A Handy Guide for Dealing with Manipulative People.”  Esther’s book was just released March 18th and looks really good: “Girl at the End of the World: My Escape from Fundamentalism in Search for Faith with a Future.”  Her tips for dealing with manipulative people:

  1. Manipulative people make their requests sound like a great, special offer just for you when the reality is, you are the one doing THEM a favor. Whenever a manipulative person asks me to do something for them, I remind myself that I am under no obligation to say yes. And furthermore, I should not feel the need to apologize for saying no. Additionally, I do not owe them any explanation for saying no.
  2. Arguing with a manipulator is like arguing with a drug addict. You’re not arguing with the person, you’re arguing with the drug. Everything a manipulator says serves their own personal agenda. Instead of making it a personal discussion, deal with them as if you are simply dealing with their vice. You are talking to their drug/vice addiction. You wouldn’t apologize to an addict for not giving into their requests, right? If their request violates your personal boundary, the answer is always no.
  3. Manipulative people are accustomed to getting their way. Not only do manipulators want you to say yes to their requests, they want you to say yes NOW. Manipulators usually get angry or vindictive when they don’t get their way. To avoid the drama and maintain your boundaries, defer your answer to a later time. Say something like: “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” When you do say no, say it in the least personal way possible; ie. via voice-message, email or text.

Be well, friends!  We’ll be back with a VLOG next week!