Recovering from Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by Aimee Byrd

aimee byrd

I was delighted to receive a copy of Aimee Byrd’s new book, Recovering from Biblical Manhood & Womanhood and devoured it this past week, underlining a full half of it! Byrd writes beautifully, with strong metaphors and challenging questions that keep the reader engaged. And her arguments are very strong and compelling. In her introduction, she emphasizes that this is neither a man-bashing book nor a women’s empowerment book. Her focus is critiquing the teachings of so-called “biblical manhood and womanhood” that are really cultural values rather than helpful guides to discipleship.

Aimee Byrd is coming from the perspective of the Reformed Orthodox Presbyterian Church, which is complementarian. While remaining faithfully within the confines of the creeds and doctrines of her denomination, she offers a complementarian framework that honors the contribution of women in Scripture and in ecclesial life today. Reading her book as an egalitarian, I was inspired by the Biblical examples of “gynocentric interruptions” (the female voice throughout the Bible’s narrative), and I loved her description of sibling relationships as the dynamic we are to have between men and women in the Church.

Byrd is directly challenging theaimee byrd recovering biblical harmful subjugation of women through the work of the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood (CBMW) founded by Wayne Grudem and John Piper and other prominent complementarian pastors, and their definitive tome, Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood. The CBMW view of manhood and womanhood is filtered strictly through a lens of authority and submission. She is especially critical of the heretical doctrine of the Eternal Subordination of the Son (ESS) they have peddled to enforce the subjugation of women.

As we’ve been taught to focus on aiming for biblical manhood and womanhood, we have missed the bigger picture of Christlikeness to which we are called. And we have lost aim of what the church is for: preparing us for eternal communion with the triune God. (pg. 26)

I underlined half of this book, but I will try to pull out some favorite quotes for you. Here are some from the chapter, “Why Not the Book of Boaz?” in which Byrd fleshes out the importance of “gynocentric interruptions”:

It teaches us different layers of different. We see how the female voice is needed in Scripture. This isn’t a criticism of the male voice. God put man and woman on this earth, and he intends to use both sexes in his mission. In Ruth men and women see that sometimes we need a different set of eyes to see the fuller picture. And what a beautiful picture it is. (pg. 54)

The church is using the same language as the secular world–whether we’re talking about equality and rights or borrowing the same Victorian-age gender tropes and then calling it ‘biblical.’ Their questions often revolve around what the women in the church are permitted to do. While there is certainly a place to talk about these things, there seems to be little talk about how the woman’s contribution is distinctly valued and how they can promote that in their leadership by listening to and investing in their women. The woman’s casserole is valued. The woman’s nursery duty is valued. The woman’s service in VBS is valued. Is her theoogical contribution valued? Is her testimony valued? Is her advice valued? When she shows initiative, discernment, and resolve, do you see someone who wants to give of herself in service in all these ways, or does that maker her less feminine in your eyes?

Gynocentric interruptions shouldn’t just be permitted; they should be promoted. The women’s voices–not only their casseroles and babysitting skills–are needed just as much as the men’s in the life of the church…This means they need to be fed from the depths of the Word and be satisfied. (pg. 70)

In the chapter, “Girls Interrupted,” Byrd shows how women were “tradents” of the faith, as we all should be as we testify to God’s redemption and Kingdom to others.

These women’s bravery, initiative, discernment, and resolve are models of faith for us all. Rahab’s faith led to the birth of our Savior, and both women’s actions foreshadow Jesus’ blessing on all nations. If we are to follow some of the hyper-masculinity and femininity teaching taught in some conservative circles, these women would look more rebellious than full of faith. (pg. 88)

In her chapter, “Why Our Aim Is Not Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” Byrd says,

In Scripture we see women functioning as necessary allies in ways such as warning men to turn away from evil; acting as cobelligerents with men against evil enemis; mediating the Word of the Lord; giving wise instruction and counsel, collaborating in service to others; responding to God as examples of faithfulness; and influencing men from a gift of empathy and relatedness. (pg. 108 with Bible references in the footnotes)

The word complementarian has been hijacked by an outspoken and overpublished group of evangelicals who flatten its meaning and rob it of true beauty and complementarity. Complementarity presupposes difference but also communion through giving of the self in and through these differences. (pg. 124)

In her chapter, “What Church is For,” Byrd asks,

Why isn’t there more proactive training for pastors about how to minister to and better equip the women in their churches? How much interaction are they having with women academics or even popular female writers? Why are so many pastors so terribly unaware of the market of poor theology being sold to women in the form of ‘Bible studies’ and topical studies for women’s ministry?…pastors need to be asking themselves how they are preparing both the men and women for eternity through the proclamation of the word and the fruit of that ministry in their church. (pg. 145)

I won’t give any more away. I want you to get a hold of this book and read it for yourself. This is a powerful call to live as faithful witnesses to God’s Kingdom as we all strive for Christlikeness and sacrificial love. I am especially encouraged to read such a defense of the contributions of women in the Church from a complementarian woman. I highly recommend Byrd’s work to egalitarians and complementarians alike.

I’ll leave you with this video of Aimee describing her book and corresponding study:


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Alan Hirsch – Missional Discipleship

alanhirschI had a wild experience this week, meeting a leader in the missional church movement that has been influential in my understanding of living on mission for God’s Kingdom. I had stayed up half the night before church last week, watching Alan Hirsch videos on Youtube, trying to find something I could show during our Sunday School hour to start a discussion on missional discipleship – which requires deconstructing our Christ-against-culture/evangelism/consumerism mindsets and reconstructing a mindset of discipleship through relationship, meeting and loving people where they are, drawing them to Christ through showing up, time and again.

Anyway, I had just had this Alan-Hirsch-binge and a few days later, was face-to-face with him at my job, where he was attending a dinner! “Are you Alan Hirsch?!” I exclaimed, and when he smilingly told me he was, we shook hands and I thanked him for his work. Then I recovered my professionalism and carried on. But it got me thinking that I ought to share his work here with my blog readers. So here is the video I chose for my Sunday School class, and the notes I passed out. You can learn more about Alan Hirsch here.

“Missional Discipleship” 

Discipleship is fundamental to our faith – it is formation in Christ. Missional discipleship incorporates the assimilation of spiritual disciplines (prayer, etc.) but goes beyond to involve ourselves in the eternal purposes of God in this world to redeem it to himself.

Highly transformative missional movements throughout history, with explosive growth and high transformation (the early Church, the Celtic movement, Moravians, Methodists, Pentecostals) have been obsessed with discipleship and disciple-making.

The key to the health, sustainment, extension and renewal of the church is not more evangelism, but more discipleship.

Greek philosopher Epictetus – “It’s impossible to teach a man what he thinks he already knows.”

There’s some unlearning we need to do. We’ve used the Great Commission to mean “we do evangelism.”

Matthew 28:16-20 “All power and authority has been given to me…Go…make disciples of the nations, teaching them to obey all that I’ve commanded you, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” Where do you hear evangelism here? Evangelism is implied, but it is actually about discipleship.

The way we’ve been doing evangelism feeds consumerism. People are looking for purpose, meaning, significance, belonging, community – the very thing religion offers is being sought in consumption.

You can’t make disciples out of consumers. Jesus said “die,” come to the cross. You can’t take that out of the equation and expect the same results. We must begin with the end in mind – what God intends to achieve in the world. But we must also end with the beginning in mind. It’s all about discipleship, from beginning to end.

When were the disciples born again? Right up front? In the middle? Towards the end? The Johannine Pentecost (John 20:19-23)? Jesus has a whole lot of pre-conversion disciples. That’s what we should do! Don’t focus on the evangelism part, focus on discipleship. Somewhere along the line will come the born again experience – that comes from God. That’s Jesus’ business.

First draw out the image of God (Image Dei) and then the image of Christ (Imago Christi). Once you’re born again, you’re reformed into the image of Jesus.

Definition: The answer is Jesus.

I believe in substitutionary atonement achieved by Christ on the cross. But it’s not simply that. “It’s Jesus in my heart…but there’s no agenda in my life beyond that.”

Incarnation————————————————————————————————Cross
The exemplary life of Jesus, his life and teachings, the role he played –
This is the agenda of discipleship!

Ignoring the life of Jesus is a reduction of the Gospel that damages our capacity to be disciples. The cross is where Jesus is my Savior. The rest is where he is my Lord. It is a heresy to divide the person and work of Jesus.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer – “Discipleship means adherence to Christ, and, because Christ is the object of that adherence, it must take the form of discipleship. An abstract Christology, a doctrinal system, a general religious knowledge on the subject of grace or on the forgiveness of sins, render discipleship superfluous, and in fact they positively exclude any idea of discipleship whatever, and are essentially inimical to the whole conception of following Christ. Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship. And Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ.”

C.S. Lewis “It is easy to think that the Church has a lot of different objects—education, building, missions, holding services …the Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose. It says in the Bible that the whole universe was made for Christ, and that everything is to be gathered in him. That is what it is all about.”


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Emily Joy – Thank God I’m a Virgin

Here is a powerful spoken word poem by Emily Joy, reflecting on the idolatry of purity culture. The Youtube byline says, “‘Thank God I’m a Virgin’ is an exploration of the logical consequences of a Christian purity culture that places undue emphasis on the status of one’s virginity, especially female virginity, over against one’s character and heart. It seeks to correct and indict those who would set themselves up as judge of who is in and who is out of the kingdom and community of God on the basis of their sexuality.”

From the upcoming album, “All Prodigal Daughters and Sons”

Get this single on iTunes here: https://goo.gl/DBLzDs

Get this single on Amazon here: http://goo.gl/iRY3BF

Lyrics:
Well thank God I’m a virgin!
Or he probably wouldn’t want me.
I thought as I listened silently
While he told me
That he just couldn’t be with someone
Who had been with someone else,
Which is like 90% of adults by the age of 25,
So your already limited pool is shrinking very quickly,
But don’t let me discourage you.
Carry on.
Tell me how you saved yourself.
How you saved up enough points with God
To buy an unspoiled bride
And you will not settle for less.
Tell me about her white dress,
How it will “mean something.”
Tell me what it means.
Tell me what it’s like to have nothing you regret,
To have made it through life unscathed
By either bliss or pain.
What does that feel like?
Is it very lonely?
Or does it just feel safe,
Like keeping your cocoon heart all wrapped up and tucked away
Hoping to God someday it becomes a butterfly
Before it dies from the frost.
I hope whoever she is,
She meets all your expectations.
I hope enough of her heart is intact
For you to feel like the wait was worth it.
I hope she never knows you wouldn’t have wanted her
If she wasn’t a virgin.
Cause everybody knows a girl is only as valuable
As the men who haven’t touched her.
Only as desirable as the experiences she hasn’t had.
But baby, when you get to her,
She better know what to do in bed.
She better satisfy your wildest pornographic fantasies,
Know all the right ways to move
Body parts she has never had the chance to use.
Cause God would never fail you, right?
You waited on his timing, now he owes you.
Anything less is not the bill of goods they sold you.
So I hope it works out for you.
I really do.
But if it doesn’t, just remember what I told you.
That a heart cannot be divided into pieces
And given away till there is nothing left.
That the greatest gift you can give
Has nothing to do with your flesh.
That love is really just grace.
That a lifetime of avoidance
Does not prepare one for a lifetime of joy and pain.
That “virgin” is not a sexual preference,
Nor is it your birthright.
Baby, your insecurity is showing.
She chose you.
What more do you want?


Thanks for visiting The Beautiful Kingdom Warriors – a place for redemptive dialogue about gender roles in the Church and world, and the plight of women due to sanctified patriarchy. Every human, as a divine image bearer, was designed for dignity and dominion in the care of God’s creation. We all submit and defer to one another, and love one another, avoiding hierarchy for the sake of the Kingdom. Believing in equality for women in the Church is not man-hating, it is restoring God’s intent for how we will live in the Kingdom of God.

If this is not how your church taught gender roles, visit our Fav Links page (at the top of this page) for lots of resources, and explore our archives for more information.

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