Category Archives: Spiritual Growth

Now I Become Myself

Now I Become Myself
by Mary Sarton

Now I become myself. It’s taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
“Hurry, you will be dead before–”
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

“Now I Become Myself” by May Sarton, from Collected Poems 1930-1993. © W.W. Norton, 1993. (buy now)

Excerpt from Let Your Life Speak
by Parker Palmer

“We arrive in this world with birthright gifts—then we spend the first half of our lives abandoning them or letting others disabuse us of them. As young people, we are surrounded by expectations that may have little to do with who we really are, expectations held by people who are not trying to discern our selfhood but fit us into slots.  In families, in schools, workplaces, and religious communities, we are trained away from true self towards images of acceptability; under social pressures like racism or sexism our original shape is deformed beyond recognition; and we ourselves, driven by fear, too often betray true self in order to gain the approval of others.  Only when I give something that does not grow within me do I deplete myself and harm the other as well, for only harm can come from a gift that is forced, inorganic, unreal.”

Palmer, Parker in Let Your Life Speak, © Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1999.
(buy now)

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Ask yourself today – Who has God created you to be?  What good works has God planned for  you to do?  Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (New Living Translation).

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Journey to the Cross: Lenten Devotional

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If you are looking for a good Lenten devotional, here is a link to The Gospel Coalition’s “Journey to the Cross.”  The intro gives an explanation what Lent is for newcomers to its observation.

What I’ve been hearing over and over from the Lord, from Lisa’s sermon on Sunday, Ann Voskamp’s Lenten blog posts, and the Journey to the Cross devotional, is that we need to cease from consuming (food, entertainment, comfort, etc.) so that we can be fed by the Living Water that truly satisfies.  All else only leaves you parched and dry.

It is so easy to be consumed by our schedules, by our thoughts (regrets, resentment, criticism, pessimism, ingratitude, fantasies, etc.), by our pursuit of comfort and materialism, and by our misplaced priorities.  St. Augustine described this as disordered love.  That is when your love of God is eclipsed by other loves.  We were talking about how an eclipse works at Bible study the other day.  Lisa explained that the only reason why the moon can eclipse the sun, which is vastly larger, is because of the proximity of the moon to the earth.

And that is why Lent is such a powerful season.  It is in drawing near to God that our loves are reordered.  We are all on a spiritual journey that is taking us somewhere.  We’re not just standing still.  Depending on where you are in your spiritual journey, this much is true: you are either moving nearer to or farther from God.  I know that in my own life, I need to be redirected back to the cross.  I get consumed by entertainment media and comfort food and my schedule and my disordered loves.  How easy is it to put the tangible before the intangible?!  By fasting, we have a tangible reminder (hunger, extra time) to remember the cross, to remember God’s astounding love and forgiveness.  To remember that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

If you have never observed Lent before, you may not know how to begin.  My suggestion is to think of something in your life that you consume in order to feed your spiritual hunger, and fast from that.  The place you turn when you feel drained, stressed, lonely, etc.  If you can practice replacing those things with spiritual practices that will actually feed you, you will be able to reorient your life back to finding your sustenance in God.  Lent began yesterday on Ash Wednesday and continues until Easter Sunday.  We break our fasts on Sundays, “Feast Days.”

May God bless you this Lenten season.

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I didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many Lenten resources, but if you are looking for more, here is a great list, “40 Ideas for Lent,” from www.rachelheldevans.com.

Thoughts on Resentment

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I heard Dr. Erwin Lutzer share this illustration in a sermon on resentment.  It was written by Roma Wade from the WLS talk show in the Chicago area.  It’s worth sharing!

Do you harbor resentment?  Then you are poisoning your own meal at life’s banquet table.  Imagine your mind as a little shop of horrors, a kind of museum filled with relics of all of the injustices and harm you have ever endured.  Each exhibit depicts your memory of what someone did or didn’t do that hurt you.  Brightly illuminated by your resentment, every exhibit has a soundtrack echoing with loud, angry, accusing voices.  The walls are covered with horrible instruments of punishment and long lists of penalties to be inflicted on your wrong-doers.  And coating everything is a thick, clinging residue of self-pity that keeps you from moving along to the New Futures wing of your museum, where exhibits are filled with pleasure and joy and possibilities.  Can you imagine what it would be like to be locked permanently inside such a chamber of horrors?  Of hate and resentment?  If you are unable to forgive others for real or imagined wrongs, then your own horror chamber exists within you.  That chamber of ill-will is your mind.   And what a price you pay for maintaining such a museum of resentment.  The negative reliving of your past stokes anger, resentment and seething hostility.  It also turns your mind against itself.  It’s like a poison to your soul.  The simple profound truth is that the entire horror shop crumbles if you simply forgive.  By forgiving others, you forgive yourself, you gain self-esteem and you free your own spirit to soar to new heights.  There’s no time to waste.  Now is the time to stop the pain of the past from poisoning the joys of your present and future.  Decide to forgive and then let go, lay it down.   Lay it down.

“Sometimes what we see as a curse one day becomes a blessing the next day. How much simpler it would be if we would learn to thank God for everything, instead of using our own judgment.” –Corrie ten Boom

“We are saved by a man who died loving his enemies.” — Timothy Keller

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” — Hebrews 12:15

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